No she's mine!
by Rachzilla
Summary: Sequel to 'Who will she marry' Sasuke and the evil teddy bear are battling for the love of Sakura, which Kakashi has, Fluffykins has had a great idea to win her heart.... Crack characters included!
1. The beginning!

**This is the sequel for 'who will she marry?' so you'll have to read that one first!**

**Fluffykins: its me again!**

**Cuddles: wow its been a year in story world but its been like two weeks in real life!**

**Fluffykins: yeah isn't she great?**

**Cuddles: Rachzilla?**

**Fluffykins: ha-ha no, Sakura is!**

**Me: what, aren't I great too?!**

**Fluffykins: no.**

**Me: (starts to cry) but I made you!**

**Fluffykins: so?**

**Cuddles: you better be careful!**

**Fluffykins: why?**

**Me: now here comes my good friend anger, grr!**

**Fluffykins: (screams like a little girl)**

**Me: (laughs evilly then uses imagination)**

**Fluffykins: argghhh, my arm!(picture a teddy bear with only one arm)**

**Me: mwhaha**

**Cuddles: (sigh) Rachzilla does not own Naruto.**

Chapter 1

One year later, in a secret hideout, up in the mountains above Konoha**. **The two teddy bears; Cuddles and Fluffykins, are hiding there. doing secret stuff or maybe just stupid stuff. Sasuke and Naruto Uchiha were still trying to figure out the password (he-he world domination) and at the same time try and live together. And Sakura and Kakashi were girlfriend and boyfriend, Kakashi desperately trying to get her to marry him, and Sakura happily turning him down.

"When the time is right!" she laughed.

"When will that be?!" he sulked.

Anyway back to the teddy bears...

"What are you doing?" a cute teddy bear in the door way asked.

"Building a machine that shall help me win Sakuras heart!" he laughed.

"Whatever." she replied, walking into the room.

Cuddles was wearing a pink, polka dot skirt and had a ribbon to match it, she was a bout the size of a small six year old. Fluffykins looked up, he was wearing sunglasses and oil was all over his face.

"What do you want anyway?" he asked as he turned back to his work.

"Just seeing that you keep your promise and kill everyone then make Sakura your bride."

"Go away I've got it all planned up here." he said pointing to his head.

"What's that?" she pointed at his machine.

"It is a device that is so powerful, that even your puny little brain will explode if I told you all the facts!"

"But its just metal that has been put into a huge pile, with a few bolts and screws on top."

"No, its just metal that has been put into a huge pile, with a few bolts and screws and a hammer on top." he said as he placed his hammer on top.

A few seconds after the hammer was put on top it tumbled down and the hammer went flying.

"Pillow?" she asked, handing him her fluffy, pink pillow.

"Thank you."

He snatched it off her and then started to scream into it.

"Well I better get started again now where's my ham-"

The hammer came falling down and hit him right in the center of his head.

"That's where it was, nighty night!" he laughed as he fell to the floor; unconscious.

Cuddles slapped her forehead then went to get a bucket of ice cold water. She threw the water on him and he shot up and shouted

"Man that's a cold!"

"There's no point in trying, Sakura already said that she will only date humans plus she's going out with that Kakashi."

"That's it!" a light bulb appeared over his head.

"What's it?"

"Go away I've had a brilliant plan!" he pushed her out of his room then slammed the door in her face.

She sighed then walked back to her room.

**Meanwhile in Konoha park...**

Dozens of light pink and white roses showered the sleeping Sakura.

"Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi..." she yawned as she got up off the grass.

"Will you marry me?!" he asked excitedly.

"When the time is right." she half laughed and half yawned.

"When will that be?!" he begged, he was even holding her hands.

She just laughed and pushed him away.

"Look at them, having fun and hugging, I could be doing that right now..."

"Sasuke!"

"What Naruto?" he asked as he hid his binoculars.

"How many pancakes would you like?"

"Twelve, with a lot of butter on top."

"Wow you better watch your weight mister!"

Sasuke gave Naruto an evil look then turned to look at his plate.

"So when are you going to get Sakura back?" he asked.

"When Fluffykins tries to of course."

"I hate him."

"Me too."

"Well that's one thing in common we have, now to find some more, just like the therapist said."

"I hate him."

"Oh I think he's nice!"

"Well why don't you marry him?"

"Because I'm stuck with you, jerk!"

"Blondie!"

"Weirdo who laughs in his sleep!"

"Hey that's our little secret!"

"I'll tell the world if your not careful!"

Sasuke just pouted, then he started to eat his pancakes.

"Good, now I wish you were like that more often!"

Sasuke growled at him then went back to eating his pancakes.

**TBC**

**Me: wow Sasuke sure likes his pancakes!**

**Sasuke: shut up! Naruto is a good cook!**

**Naruto: why thank you Sasuke.**

**Sasuke: that doesn't mean I like you.**

**Naruto: (pouts then runs off)**

**Sasuke: well that got rid of him.**

**Kakashi: (bursts in) SAKURA WILL YOU MARRY ME?!**

**Me: Sakuras not here you idiot.**

**Kakashi: oh (slowly backs out of the hole he made)**

**Me: anyway...**

**Sasuke: let me do it!**

**Me: fine.**

**Sasuke: R&R!**


	2. Cuddles dream

**The 2nd chapter of 'No she's mine!'. Enjoy!**

**Cuddles: What's your plan?!**

**Fluffykins: Its a surprise.**

**Cuddles: (puppy dog eyes) Pwetty pwease?**

**Fluffykins: Awww, okay so the plan is I- (falls down to the floor)**

**Cuddles: What happened?!**

**Me: He-he, tranquilizer darts are fun!**

**Cuddles: (laughs nervously) Um, Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

Chapter 2!

Noises could be heard from Fluffykins room. He was banging, pinging, rattling, drilling and all the other building sounds you hear, he was also laughing like a maniac. Cuddles was leaning against his door and was snoring softly.

**In her dream...**

"Sasuke where are you?" shouted Cuddles.

"Over here my love." he called to her.

"But where?!"

But she got no reply after that, she began to walk around and the ground started to open up underneath her. She screamed and quickly grabbed on to the side of the hole. Then the edge collapsed underneath her weight and she fell into the deep dark pit.

"Somebody help me!" she screamed.

"Chocolaty goodness!" a mysterious squeaky voice said.

"What?!" she shouted, confused.

"Ho ho ho, eat me me!"

"What are you doing here Santa Claus and why do you want to be eaten?!"

"I'm not Santa Claus you idiot!"

The figure came into view and landed on her stomach.

"Its me Mr. Muffin, **eat me**!" he growled.

Her nightmare had just gotten worse! She screamed and the muffin pushed her down into the pit and she fell into certain doom!

She woke up and was now in this strange, grassy field.

"Sasuke are you here?" she yawned, rubbing her eye.

No reply. Slowly she got up and stretched and started to walk towards a strange looking wood.

"Stupid muffin!" she muttered.

She walked further and further into the spooky wood. She heard creaking as she ventured deeper to the woods centre. The creaking got louder and she broke into a run. Her heart or the thing inside her that keeps her alive, was beating against her chest. She jumped through a pile of trees and she had found the source of the creaking... It was a young, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, lovely, dazzling girl! She was on a computer chair and was typing furiously on a keyboard, why a computer was in the middle of the woods, I don't know. The girl started to swing on her chair and that's where the creaking sound was coming from.

"Phew, I thought that was something dangerous then!" Cuddles laughed and started to walk again.

A loud thump was heard and an 'ouch, that hurt!' was followed. Cuddles rolled her eyes and saw that the girl was on the ground and rubbing the back of her head. Cuddles turned again and another creaking was heard. If the girl was on the floor then where was that coming from? Cuddles eyes widened and she began to run again.

She came to another opening of trees and she saw an old woman creaking on her chair. Why an old woman was in the woods, I don't know.

"Hello child would you like some chocolate?" she asked wearily.

"Um no thanks."

"But its..."

"Its?"

"Its..."

"Yes?"

"ITS FULL OF CHOCOLATY GOODNESS!"

Cuddles screamed and the old woman leapt out of her chair and shoved a handful of chocolate down her throat. Cuddles fell over and banged her head, she was knocked unconscious.

She woke up again, this time in a cold, frosty land that had a blanket of snow.

"Well I'm glad I have fur!" she smiled happily.

A goat came out of no where and ate all of her fur (goats like fur, cause they eat everything, I think). She screamed then shivered .

"Well at least it can't get worse!"

It started to rain heavily.

"I spoke too soon."

Because it was a cold place, the water turned into ice and it felt like a million bullets were showering down.

"Grr!" she growled angrily.

She began to walk and soon she came across a small wooden hut.

"Let me in, please its freezing and I'm getting bruises from the ice bullets!" she banged at the door.

"Enter..." a voice said as the door slowly opened.

"Sasuke?"

She ran inside and Sasuke was lying, lazily on the couch. The fire was dancing merrily and Sasuke smiled at her.

"Oh Sasuke I've been trying to find you!" she ran and hugged him.

"Eww, get off me, your not my girl!"

"But this is my dream!" she shouted at him.

"No this is your nightmare, and Mr. Muffin is my only love."

"Oh Sasuke!" Mr. Muffin said.

They ran towards each other and hugged then shared a deep, long kiss.

"NOOOOOOOOOO." she screamed.

"Oh and by the way, I don't date **Fat **teddy bears!" he laughed evilly, the muffin joined in too.

"But, I'm not fat!" she shot up and screamed.

"What are you talking about?" Fluffykins asked.

"Sasuke, he, I, old granny, girl on chair, chocolaty goodness, Santa Claus and that stupid muffin, the muffin stole Sasuke from me!" she burst into tears.

"Wow that some dream you had!" he laughed.

She wiped her tears away and looked at her cousin.

"So is it finished?" she asked.

"Yep, its right in here, follow me..."

**TBC!**

**Me: that was a great chapter!**

**Cuddles: I'm not fat!**

**Fluffykins: well the only thing I find confusing is that, who was the girl?**

**Me: it was me!**

**Fluffykins: oh, but you don't match any of those descriptions!(starts to laugh)**

**Cuddles: (nudges him) shut up if you know what's good for you!**

**Fluffykins: (stops laughing**)

**Me: so do you guys have organs or what?**

**Cuddles: I have no idea.**

**Fluffykins: Oh that's easy! (pulls down an x-ray machine)**

**X- ray machine: (shows a mouse running on a hamster wheel)**

**Me & Fluffykins: (laughing at the mouse)**

**Cuddles: idiots.**

**Me: I'm not an idiot, you are!**

**Cuddles: whatever!**

**Fluffykins: what were we talking about again?**

**Me & Cuddles: (smack foreheads)**

**Cuddles: R&R!**


	3. Flashy!

**Me: Yay!, its the next chapter! (clears throat) well Cuddles and Fluffykins couldn't make it cause they had a little **_**accident**_**.**

**Camera: (goes to a hospital and Cuddles and Fluffykins are in hospital beds, a note is attached to there beds, it says 'Never make fun of me again!')**

**Me: So we have a special guest to do the disclaimer!**

**??: Baaaaa**

**Me: That's right it's Mr. Goat! (whispers) do goats go baa, I mean there from the sheep family, just wondering.**

**Mr. Goat: Baa! **

**Translation: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

Chapter 3!

"Kakashi why did I just hear something that sounded like a teddy bear crying?" Sakura shouted from her room.

"Go back to sleep!" he replied from his room.

It was the middle of the night and Sakura was over Kakashis place. She was hearing weird noises but decided to leave it be.

"So Sakura will you marry me?" Kakashi called to her.

"Go to sleep Kakashi."

"Says the one who is hearing teddy bears talking!"

"Go to sleep!" she slammed her door shut.

"Oh so its a war?!" he slammed his door shut.

Sakura slammed her door shut again, so did Kakashi. This war continued until two in the morning, when it was stopped by the hokage.

"Ha I win!" Kakashi whispered to her.

"Shut up!"

**Meanwhile in the evil lair of the teddies...**

"But it seemed so real!" Cuddles shivered.

"Well it wasn't, I can make it real though!" he exclaimed, pointing to a weird machine.

Cuddles looked at him, with a terrified look on her face.

"Okay, okay I _won't_ make it real, I promise!" he laughed, crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Oh thank you!" she smiled "so where is this machine?"

"Oh its under this curtain!" he said happily as he pulled it down.

"Baa!"

"Oh there you are Mr. Goat!" Fluffykins laughed.

"Arghhhhh my nightmare hasn't ended!" Cuddles screamed.

"Baa!"

Cuddles screamed again then dived into a bowl of green water.

"Um Cuddles, you just jumped into my hair losing soup."

She screamed again and all her fur fell off.

"Why is this happening to me?!" she cried, she threw the bowl towards Fluffykins, Mr. Goat and Mr. Muffin, now they were all wet and had lost the only thing covering them.

"Chocolaty goodness!" Mr. Muffin said joyfully.

Cuddles fainted.

**A few hours later...**

"Cuddles wake up!" Fluffykins shouted at her.

"Oh it was all a dream!" she cried with joy.

"No, it wasn't, we're both fur less and there is also Mr. Goat and Mr. Muffin!" he said happily.

"Baa!"

"I like chocolate!"

"Please kill me!" she moaned.

"Later."

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Why are they here anyway?" she asked as she got up and brushed her self off.

"Well Mr. Goat is well, um, I don't know and Mr. Muffin is here cause his girl friend has just dumped him."

"I'm allergic to chocolate she said, your not my type she said." Mr. Muffin was in a corner and rocking himself, his eyes were twitching "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, CHOCOLATY, I'm not crazy, GOODNESS!"

"Baa!"

"So do you understand what the goat said?" Cuddles asked.

"Yeah he said 'somebody please help me!'" he replied.

"He said all that in one 'baa'?"

"Yep!"

"MUFF MUFF PLEASE COME BACK, I'M LONELY!" Mr. Muffin shouted and started to cry and eat himself.

Mr. goat slowly moved away from him.

"Aren't those guys great?" Fluffykins grinned.

"No!"

"Just cause I have friends and you don't!"

"Just shut up and show me the machine!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot." he pulled another curtain down and a machine with lots of flashing lights was standing before them.

"I call her 'Flashy'!" he smiled.

"So what's it do?" she asked.

"Well it turns the person or people into humans!"

"That's it?"

"What do you want, a fire breathing monkey on a unicycle?"

"Well it would catch Kakashis attention..."

"No, the plan is that us four-"

"What do you mean _four_?" she interrupted.

"Mr. Goat and Mr. Muffin are coming, duh!"

"But why?"

"Listen, I won't kill Sasuke if you let them come..."

"DEAL!"

"Anyway, us **four **will transform into humans, with the help of my machine, I will make Sakura fall in love with me and we shall marry!"

"But what about Kakashi, he'll kill you for sure!"

"Well you'll have to..."

"WHAT, WHY ME?!" she shouted at him.

"Because your the only girl plus Sasukes life is at risk!"

"I'm coming Sasuke!" she pulled Mr. Goat, Mr. Muffin and Fluffykins into the machine with her.

The machine started to flash and made a whirring sound, a red flash blinded them and smoke filled the room. The door fell open and the four fell out. But because none of them were wearing clothes and they were fur less...

"Oh my god, we're naked!" she screamed.

"She's right!"

"CHOCOLATY GOODNESS!" Mr. Muffin screamed.

"Hey who's touching me?!" she yelled.

"Baa!"

"Mr. Goat, you pervert!"

She ran out of the room and into her own.

"Fluffykins you idiot, you should have bought clothes!" she shouted angrily.

"The cereal box didn't tell me to!"

**TBC!**

**Mr. Goat: Baa!**

**Rachzilla: Ha-ha, good joke!**

**Mr. Goat: Baa!  
**

**Rachzilla: Welcome to the team Mr. Goat!**

**Mr. Goat: Baa!**

**Rachzilla: (rolls on the floor laughing)**

**Mr. Goat: Baa!**

**Rachzilla: hahahahahaha!**

**Mr. Goat: Baa.**

**Translation: R&R!**


	4. Baa omg we're humans!

**Me: Its the fourth chapter!**

**Mr. Goat: Baa!**

**Me: Fine, fine I'll let you do it!**

**Naruto: Hey what about me, and the other guys?!**

**Sakura: Yeah your only using your made up characters!**

**Kakashi: Sakura will you marry me?!**

**Sakura: When the time is right!**

**Sasuke: And that will be never, cause she's going to marry me!**

**Kakashi: In your dreams!**

**Me: (whispers) quick go Mr. Goat!**

**Mr. Goat: Baaaaaaaa!**

**Translation: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

**Every one except me & Mr. Goat: HEY THAT WAS MY LINE!**

Chapter 4!

**In an old alley way...**

"What is that word he always says?" Sasuke pondered.

"Still trying to think of the password?" Naruto asked, lazily.

"Yes! A Uchiha doesn't give up!" Sasuke yelled.

"I'm a Uchiha and I've given up!" Naruto shouted back.

"Shut up, I'm getting a headache!"

"Well sorry princess Sasuke!"

"What did you call me?"

"Princess Sasuke! P-a-n-c-a-k-e S-a-k-u-r-a!"

"Naruto you spelled 'Pancake Sakura', you suck at spelling!"

"Well at least I'm not a nerd who pays attention to class!"

"I wanted to have revenge! To do that I have to be a good ninja!"

"Nerd! W-o-r-l-d d-o-m-i-n-a-t-i-o-n!"

"Wait, what did you spell?"

"I spelled nerd! W-o-r-l-d d-o-m-i-n-a-t-i-o-n!"

"World domination?" he said, "where have I heard that before?"

Naruto shrugged and sat down on the floor.

"Well lets give it a try any way..." Sasuke took a big breath and then shouted into the ring "WORLD DOMINATION!"

"Keep it quiet, people are trying to sleep!" somebody shouted at them.

"But its 3:00 in the afternoon!"

"Yeah only Shikamaru would sleep in this late!" Naruto snickered.

"I am Shikamaru, you idiots!" he shouted at them and threw his slipper.

"Yay! Tomorrows dinner!" Naruto said happily as he caught the slipper.

What they hadn't noticed was that the rings were on the floor, there finger had red marks in there place.

"Hey Naruto, the rings are on the floor..." Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto looked down and saw that the two rings were indeed on the floor. Naruto looked at Sasuke then he started to run the opposite way. He didn't spring back to Sasuke, he was free, HE WAS FREE!

"I'm free!" Naruto cheered and hugged Sasuke.

"Will you two be quiet!" Shikamaru looked out of his window and saw the two hugging "Wow I never knew you liked each other that much!" he laughed then slammed his window shut.

The boys blushed then pushed away from each other.

"Naruto I've got a plan."

"To go get ramen? I'm starved!"

"No, we can't live like this anymore, we are criminals!"

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to marry to Sakura without the hokages permission and you because you married me instead of Hinata."

"Oh, yeah..."

"So anyway, we change into different people, you change into your sexy jutsu form and I will change my hair-"

"Why your hair and why do I have to be a woman?!" Naruto interrupted.

"Because no one will recognize me if I wear sunglasses and change my hair, duh. And not many people have seen you as a girl so that will work, so the plan is that we will be models and have retired, I shall become Suke!" he posed and fireworks went off.

"But how will I stay in girl form? It takes a lot of chakra if I stay like that for a while!"

"Well, when you were sleeping I made this potion that will keep you in girl form until you decide you've had enough!"

Sasuke grabbed a kunai in one hand and the potion in the other. He cut his hair then grabbed Narutos chin and shoved the potion down Narutos throat. Naruto fell to his hands and knees then he transformed into a girl.

"So who shall I be?" she choked.

"Hmmmm how about Nako?" (I don't know what it means, I made it up)

"Ok, so its Suke and Nako?" she asked.

"Yes, remember we are retired models, and models can't wear these outfits!"

Nako looked at him.

"What? Me and Itachi used to dress up like girls when we were children!"

Nako slowly moved away from him.

"So I thought a head, now go change into this!" Suke handed her an outfit.

"But I orange is my favorite color! Not stupid pink!" Nako whined.

"I thought you would say that..." he sweat dropped and handed her an orange copy of the outfit.

Nako went and hid behind a wall, then reappeared wearing an orange dress that went down to her knees.

"I can't wear this I'm a ninja!"

"No we are models," he corrected "Here."

Suke threw Nako an orange parasol, she caught it then opened it up. Suke quickly changed into a dark blue suit and he put on some sunglasses.

"We can't just suddenly appear, so I have written a letter to the hokage asking if we can live here, she said yes we must arrive at the gate tomorrow."

"Wow your pretty prepared!" Nako said happily.

"Come on, we have a plan to do!"

They both disappeared in a puff of smoke and were outside the village some where.

"So have you got clothes this time?" Cuddles asked quietly.

"Yep, I bought all of the clothes in the shop, the girl ones are in your room!" he smiled.

"How will we pay?!"

"We don't, duh!"

**In the evil teddy bear lair...**

Cuddles sighed then pulled the boys into the machine with her again.

It started to flash and in another blinding flash they were human. Cuddles quickly ran out of the room and into hers. She started to pick out different outfits and finally found one she liked. As a human she had strange pink eyes and long, brown hair that went all the way down her back. She had it tied in pigtails and she had two pink, polka dot ribbons keeping them there. She wore a pink mini skirt and she had black shorts underneaf. She was wearing a pink tank top and she bad gloves and the fingers were poking through. She had black boots on that went to her knees. She also had a weapons bag and a backpack on. She looked a bit like Sakura, but more girlier.

"Knock, knock." she said as she opened her cousins door.

They looked weird as humans. Mr. Muffin had long black hair that was a bit like Nejis, his eyes were chocolate brown. He was tanned and had a light brown tank top on, on the tank top was a picture of a muffin and it was saying 'eat me!'. He had dark brown shorts on and some hiking boots too, he also had a weapons bag and a back pack on.

"Chocolaty goodness!" he said as she was looking at him.

She turned away and looked at Mr. Goat. He had white hair (the same color as his fur) and had a long fringe that was covering his eyes. He was wearing a choker that had a bell on it. He wore a gray t-shirt and gray jeans. He had slippers on and he wasn't going to take them off any time soon, he also had a weapon bag and a back pack.

"A bit boring don't you think?" she asked him.

"Baa!" he replied.

"He still can't talk?!"

"Its okay, I can understand him, he said 'oh my god we're humans!'." Fluffykins grinned

She turned to look at him. He had the same brown hair as her, but his eyes were red and he had sunglasses on. His hair was spiked up and he wore a black jacket and a white t-shirt under it. He had blue jeans on and his hands were in his pockets.

"So are we ready to go?" he asked.

He seemed a lot more mature.

"Yeah lets go." she replied.

"You look good in that outfit..."

"Why thank you."

"NOT!" he laughed, the other two joined in as well.

She sighed and walked ahead of them, it was going to be a long walk if they went at this pace, but when they get there, Sasuke will be al hers.

**TBC**

**Itachi: Why did you tell them our big secret?!**

**Sasuke: Its called revenge (sticks his tongue out)**

**Itachi: Sasuke secretly like likes Cuddles!**

**Sasuke: ITACHI I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANY ONE!**

**Itachi: Its called revenge (sticks his tongue out)**

**Sasuke: I hate you... (leaps at him)**

**Itachi: R&R! (runs away)**


	5. The models arrive!

**Me: The 5th chapter! sorry I've been so late writing the chapter but I have school work and stuff, its annoying!**

**Fluffykins: Tut, tut, tut, you should be writing stories not complaining!**

**Me: Shut it you!**

**Fluffykins: Whyyyyyyyyyyy?**

**Me: Cause if you don't then I will be destroying your little hide out and I'll tell Sakura that your a teddy bear and not a human ( cause they have all turned to humans, incase you forgot).**

**Fluffykins: Shutting up.**

**Me: Good. **

**Fluffykins: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

Chapter 5

"So what are we going to call ourselves?" Cuddles asked.

"What's wrong with our real names?" Fluffykins said.

"Well if we just walk in with these names then the plan will be pointless!"

"I still don't get cha."

"Well if you go in called Fluffykins, then she will get suspicious and she will think your the teddy bear and won't marry you!"

"What?"

"Baa!" Mr. Goat explained.

"Ohhhh now I understand everything!"

"Idiot."

"I shall be called Elfluffo!"

"Fine!" she huffed.

"Well what's your name going to be?"

"Susie!"

"Aww how cute!"

"Really?"

"No!"

The boys laughed at her and she stormed off in front.

"So what's your name going to be Mr. Goat?"

"Baa!"

"What?! No, no, no, no!"

"But baa!"

"Did he just say 'but'?" Susie shouted and started to shake her cousin.

"Yes, so what, he's learning how to talk big deal!" Fluffykins laughed, pushing her off.

"Baa!"

"No! how about Billy?"

"Why Billy?" she asked.

"Billy goats gruff."

"Ah."

"Baa!"

"How about Shaun?" Susie asked.

"Baa!"

"He said ok."

"What about Mr. Muffins name?"

"How about Chip?"

"Why Chip?"

"Chocolate chip."

"Ok."

"CHOCOLATY GOODNESS?!"

"No its Chip and you should calm down, you can't go around Konoha shouting that."

"Ok I'll try, but I just can't forget her!"

"She was a muffin your a human! Your better then her now!"

"We need to hurry up, it will get dark soon we need to get to Konoha!" Susie whined.

"We're coming!"

**Meanwhile...**

"Suke why are they staring?" Nako asked (remember its Naruto in girl form)

"Because we are models, now shut up and look pretty!" he whispered angrily through clenched teeth.

He grabbed her hand and he pulled her to the limo door.

"Wait!" Tsunade shouted.

"Yes what is it we are very busy super models!" Suke posed and cameras flashed all around him.

"I thought you were retired." Tsunade asked suspiciously.

"We are, we don't work for any one now but we still show off!" Nako posed and instead off cameras she got covered in roses.

"Oh ok then, can I have your autographs and a kiss from you Suke?"

"Of course!" Nako muffled.

"Um I'm not sure about the kiss though."

Tsunade pulled him closer and whispered,

"If you do it I'll let you go out with any girl you want, even my special weapon!" Tsunade grinned.

"Who's your weapon?" Suke asked.

"Her name is Sakura Haruno, she may have a boy friend already but his looks are no match for yours!"

"Um ok."

Suke kissed Tsunade on the cheek but she turned her head just in time and he hit her lips.

"BULLS EYE!" Tsunade shouted.

"I'm so sorry sir please forgive the hokage!" Shizune begged.

"Forgived and forgotten!"

"Thank you!"

Suke jumped in the car, pulling Nako with him.

"Suke and Tsunade sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Shut up you!" Suke warned.

"Wait I haven't finished, first is love, then its marriage , then its Nako sitting in a baby carriage!"

Suke punched Nako in the back of her head and for a second there she turned back into Naruto but quickly changed back!

"Ow that hurt!" she cried.

"It seems that if you feel pain then you change back!"

"Boys can't hit girls!"

"I'm a ninja."

"No your a model."

Suke hit her again and she started to cry again.

"Ow stop it!"

"Fine its boring any way!"

The limo stopped and they got out and in front of them was a tiny house that was more of a shed.

"What?!"

"That must be the garden shed, now where's the house?"

"That is the house!"

"TSUNADE!"

"Heh, I've still got it!"

**TBC!**

**Sorry its short but I think that was the perfect place to end it! R&R!**


	6. Split up and find love!

**Me: Sorry I haven't been writing for ages but school gets in the way!**

**Elfluffo: (nods)**

**Me: But now its half term and I get a week off!**

**Elfluffo: Yay!**

**Me: On with the chapter!**

**Elfluffo: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

**Characters: (Incase you can't remember!)**

**Sasuke - Suke.**

**Naruto - Nako.**

**Fluffykins - Elfluffo.**

**Cuddles - Susie.**

**Mr. Goat - Shaun.**

**Mr. Muffin - Chip.**

Chapter 6!

**Meanwhile at the gates...**

"Hey, I wonder why all these people are here." Susie said.

"Maybe its my fan club." Elfluffo laughed.

He went over to a girl and put his arm around her.

"Hey there good looking, would you like my autograph?" he grinned.

"Get off me you creep!" she shouted.

She quickly flipped him and ran back to her friends. Susie walked over to a girl.

"Hey what's with all the commotion?" she asked.

"You don't know?!" the girl gasped.

Susie shook her head.

"Well two retired models have just come and where here to see them but now they've gone."

Susie thanked her and walked back to the boys.

"Two models have just been here and the girls are here to meet them."

"What, where?!" Fluffykins looked around excitedly.

"They've gone already."

"Oh, well lets spilt up then."

"Why?"

"Because if we spilt up then we can find Sakura faster, now Susie you go that way, Chip that way, Shaun that and I'll go that way, we'll meet back here at six!"

(Its one pm)

"Okay." Susie walked of.

"Baa!"

"Chocolaty goodness!"

"Chip act normal!"

"I'll try!" They all walked off in different directions.

**Meanwhile...**

"I finally got away from him!" Sakura huffed.

She was wearing a long black cloak that had a hood. She pulled it over her head and slowly walked to the park.

**Meanwhile with Susie...**

"_I wonder if my cousin will ever marry her_ _and will Sasuke marry me?" _Susie thought.

"Sakura, Sakura where are you?!" Kakashi called.

"_Hey look there's Kakashi! and I have a plan that will make him fall madly in love with me!" _she grinned and closed her eyes, then she walked towards Kakashi.

"_Hehehe I'll walk towards him and bump into him and fall down then he'll be so guilty he'll buy me a coffee and we'll flirt and he'll fall in love with me!" _she laughed to herself.

She started to walk faster and faster, her eyes still closed.

BANG!

"Owww!" she cried.

"Are you okay, you hit that lamp post pretty hard!"

She nodded and tried to walk again but she started to fall. Kakashi caught her then put her up right.

"T-thanks." she blushed.

"Have you seen a girl with pink hair, I'm looking for her."

"N-nope." she said, recovering from the shock.

"I'll have to pause my search right now I have to take you to the hospital!"

"N-no I-I'm f-f-fine!"

"Then how come your still stuttering?"

"I-I'm not g-going to t-the ho-hospital!"

Kakashi picked her up and flung her back.

"Help he's kidnapping me!" she screamed and started to hit him and started to wriggle her legs.

"I am not! I'm taking you back to my home-"

"That's even worse!" she interrupted

"I'm taking you back to my home so I can check you!"

"But you don't even know me." she stopped hitting him and became calm.

"Yes but you are hurt and I'm going to find out what's wrong with you."

"But-"

"No buts, I'm not resting until I find out what's wrong with you!"

Susie started to cry, no boy had ever been this kind to her.

"Wow it really must hurt if your crying again."

She sniffed and wiped her tears away.

"Thank you." she cried softly.

**Meanwhile with Chip...**

"I can't believe your going out with him!" he shouted at the muffin in the window.

He was at the bakery and his face was pressed up against the glass.

"He's just a fruit cake, I was more chocolaty!" he cried.

Suddenly Elfluffos words wrung in his head,

"_Your human now and shes just a muffin, your better then her now! Oh and buy her and eat her, that'll teach her for dumping you going out with a fruit cake!" _Elfluffo laughed evilly in his head. Chip dashed in the shop and then out.

"Hehehe this is what it feels like to be eaten Muff muff I hope it will hurt!" he began to laugh like a maniac and he bit down into the muffin.

"Wait this makes me a cannibal!" he spat it out and fell to the floor crying.

"Um sir why are you crying?" a soft voice said.

He looked up and saw it was Hinata.

"I just ate my ex girlfriend." he sobbed.

"What?!" she gasped.

He held up a half eaten muffin.

"Her name was Muff muff and she dumped me for that fruit cake." he pointed at it.

"Well they are more healthier."

"Not you too!"

"Come on, how about you come back to the mansion, its dangerous to stay out in this weather!"

He stood up and she grabbed his hand and they set off towards the mansion.

**Meanwhile with Shaun...**

"Look at him he's so cute!" Ino giggled.

"Hmmm he's not my type." Tenten laughed.

"Well if you won't have him then I'll have him!"

Ino put her hair down and winked at him.

"Its hard to tell if he's looking at you, that fringe is covering his eyes!"

"He is no one can resist me!" she giggled.

"Look he's coming over!" Tenten gasped.

"Told you!" Ino smirked.

"Baa?"

"Baa, what does that mean?" Tenten asked.

"Go away you!" Ino pushed her away.

"Baa!"

"Well hello there big boy!" she winked again.

"Baa?"

"What's your name?"

"Baa?" he started to eat her hair.

"My hair!" she screamed.

She slapped him and he let go. She stormed off and he followed her.

**Meanwhile with Elfluffo...**

"Why did I come to the park, its not like she'll be here!" he muttered.

He walked towards a bench that had a hooded figure sitting on it.

"Hey, can I sit here?" he asked pointing.

"Sure." she sighed.

"So what's with the hood and cloak?"

"I'm hiding from my boyfriend." she took the hood down.

"Sakura?!" he gasped.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." he said quickly.

She looked at her feet and lied back on the bench.

"So why are you hiding from him?"

"Because he wants to get married and I don't think I'm ready for it, just last year this guy called Sasuke tried to marry me by threatning him!"

"Wow, what a jerk!"

Sakura nodded.

"So when are going to get married?"

"Maybe never, sometimes Kakashi doesn't seem like the right guy."

"How about me?"

"I'm not even in a relationship with you!" she laughed.

"Well how about we make one?"

He kissed her, but instead of pulling away she kissed back.

**TBC!**

**Me: Please R&R!**


	7. The land of coffee!

**Me: The seventh chapter hooray!**

**Elfluffo: Woo!**

**Cuddles: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

Chapter 7!

**Meanwhile......**

Kakashi and Susie are at Kakashis house having a nice cup of coffee.

"Okay tell me everything." Kakashi said.

"Well I'm a ninja from the land offffffff...," she looked around and quickly turned back to him, "the land of coffee!"

"The land of coffee?"

"Yep!"

"Where is that?"

"Um its in the middle of the land offffffff....," she looked around again, "the land of err and the land of um!"

"The land of um and the land of err?"

"Yes!"

"Where are these lands?"

"In the north east!"

"Buts that's the-"

"Under the sea!" she interrupted.

"How can you breathe?"

"We turn into fish!"

Kakashi slowly got up and pulled her into the bath room, he began to run a bath.

"Isn't this a little fast, I don't even know you!"

"You have a weird mind."

"Well you have a weird mask!"

"Its not weird, it's manly!"

"Whatever."

He stopped the tap and looked at her.

"Well turn into a fish then."

"It has to be salt water."

He left the room and came back with a huge salt pot. He poured it all in.

"Too salty."

He pulled the plug and ran the bath again. He put in a little spoon of salt.

"Too little."

He pulled the plug again and he dragged her back into the living room.

"I've just wasted three months of salt." he mumbled.

"Okay I've come here from the land of coffee, with my cousin and his friends, to spy on the new super models that have arrived here."

"Interesting, is there any way I can help?"

"Erm, just stay out of my way!"

Kakashi blinked and replied,

"Okay, remember don't walk with your eyes closed and watch out for lamp posts!"

"Shut up you!" she shouted as she slammed his door.

**Meanwhile.....**

Sakura pulled away from Elfluffos lips.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this to Kakashi!" she cried and ran away.

"Oh she will be mine and I'll make sure of it!" he got up and started to walk.

"I wonder what the team found, I sure found something good." he smirked.

"Stop following me!" Ino screamed.

"Hey Ino, who's your friend?" a girl shouted.

"Oh, this is my boy friend!" she grinned, pointing at Shaun.

"No he's my boy friend!" Elfluffo shouted and jumped on Shaun.

"Who are you?" Ino screamed.

"I am Elfluffo!"

"Stupidest name ever!"

"Well sorry miss no pupils!"

"Oh no he didn't!" gasped Inos friend.

"Oh yes I did, now I'll be taking my boy friend..."

"NO he's mine!"

"You don't even know his name!"

"Yes I do! Its, its, um, its..."

"HA! Good bye loser!"

"No we'll let him decide, come to the one you love!"

"Baa!"

"Come here Shaun, come on!"

"I'll let you eat my hair until I go bald!"

"Baa!" Shaun started to walk towards Ino.

"Noooo Shauny poo, I thought what we had was special!"

"Baa?" he started to walk towards Elfluffo.

"Yesss!"

Shaun grabbed Elfluffos wallet and then ran back to Ino.

"Nooooooooo!"

"Come on Shaun, lets go shopping!"

"Baa!" Shaun ran back to Elfluffo.

"Yayyyyy!"

They both ran, leaving Ino behind, she fell to the floor and started to cry.

"S-shaun w-why?!" she hiccupped.

"Come on lets go to the gate!"

"Baa!"

**At the gate....**

"What took you two?!" Susie shouted.

"Sorry we had a fight with a blonde girl."

"Where's Chip anyway?"

"Aww do you miss him, do want him to come home safely so you can give him a big, fat, wet kissey wissey?"

"NO!" she blushed.

The boys laughed at her.

"Anyway where are we going to sleep?"

"Oh, well I rented a flat but..."

"But what?"

"Its only got two bedrooms.."

"You idiot, I'm not sharing a room with a boy!"

"Tough, cause you have to!"

"No the boys can all sleep in the same room!"

"Fine, but we have to get jobs if we want to keep it!"

"Fine!"

"Baa!"

"Well its getting dark, lets go, Chip will turn up some day." Elfluffo laughed.

"Okay."

"Baa."

**TBC!**

**R&R!**


	8. Kakashi wants a kiss!

**Me: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I've been busy and trying to think of ideas!**

**Elfluffo: Yes you've been a naughty author you should be punished!**

**Me: What's my punishment?**

**Elfluffo: Your punishment is....**

**Me: Yes?**

**Elfluffo: Your punishment is....**

**Me: Spit it out already!**

**Elfluffo: Find out after this chapter!**

**Me: WHAT?!**

**Elfluffo: Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

**Me: But I want to find out now (starts to cry)**

**Elfluffo: Hey your interrupting the story!**

**Me: Oh sorry! (sneaks away)**

Chapter 8!

**In the Hyuga mansion....**

"Hinata who or what have you brought home?" her farther asked sternly.

"Umm, I f..found him o..outside t..the b...bakery." she stuttered.

"And what were you doing at the bakery young man?" he turned to Chip.

"Eating my ex girlfriend." he replied calmly.

Her farther looked horrified while Hinata was turning into a tomato.

"Did I say something wrong?" Chip whispered to Hinata.

"Hahahaha, you ate your ex? That's the best joke I've ever heard!" her farther started to laugh.

"F...farther?"

"Oh great I've defiantly done something wrong, you humans only cry when your sad!" Chip cried.

"T...thank you." Hinata cried as she hugged Chip.

"Huh, oh no now your crying, I can't take this!" he screamed as he ran to the door way.

"Who are you?" Neji growled angrily.

"N...Neji." Hinata gasped.

"I'm Chip nice to meet you, err Neji." he held his hand out for him to shake.

Neji slowly put his hand up and he activated his byakugan. Chip and Hinata gulped.

**Meanwhile at Elfluffos apartment....**

"What you doing?" Susie asked.

"Looking for a job, maybe I can become a model!" Elfluffo posed.

"Yes you can break all the cameras!" Susie grinned, she had finally gotten her revenge.

"Ah, this one is perfect!"

"What is it?"

"A security guard for the hokage!"

"You can't even protect your feet!"

"Yes I can, I'm going to go apply for it!"

"You do that, meanwhile I have to spy on those models."

"Why?"

"Because that's what I told Kakashi."

"Oh you were with Kakashi, what did you say to him, has he broken up with Sakura yet?"

"No, oh and that reminds me, if anyone asks then just say your from the land of coffee that's between the lands of err and um, and we can turn into fish!"

"No one would believe that!"

"Kakashi did!"

"Wow, and I thought Kakashi was smart!"

"Hey, by the way, where is Shaun?"

"Oh, he's already got a job."

"What is it?"

"He's a shepherd!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Well I have to go now, bye bye!" she quickly ran away.

'_A shepherd? Does that even pay anything?!' _she thought.

**Meanwhile with Kakashi and Sakura at the park....**

"Kakashi I've got to tell you something." Sakura said silently.

"Your finally going to marry me?!" Kakashi cried happily.

"No, yesterday a strange boy came and, well, we kissed."

"W...what?"

"I'm sorry, but your so protective, I don't think its going to work out."

"This can't be happening, we were meant to be happy together!"

"No, we weren't, I'm sure you'll find another woman again, this time don't try to lose her." Sakura disappeared in a poof.

"SAKURA!" Kakashi started to cry.

"Hey what's with all the noise?" a woman asked.

"I've just been dumped and it hurts so much!" Kakashi wept.

"Cheer up, I'm sure you've been through harder times." she replied.

"What do you know!" he whipped around to face her, "Its you..."

"Yes, I'm sure you'll get over it."

"Kiss me..."

"What?"

"I said kiss me!"

And as quick as a flash he had pulled down his mask and his lips were kissing...thin air!

"What the?" he said in a daze.

"I hardly know you and your trying to kiss me!" she shouted.

He looked up and she was on the tree branch above.

"Your a quick one, but not as quick as me!" he jumped up and grabbed.... thin air again!

"Ha, missed me." she stuck her tongue out.

"Did I?" he said and poofed, it was a clone!

"Where are you?!"

"If I'm not above, next to you or behind you then I'm obvisly under you!"

"Huh?!"

He grabbed her chin and pulled her down to him.

"Oh no you don't, I'm not having my first kiss with you!" she kicked his chest and jumped away.

"First kiss? Oh you poor thing!" he recovered quickly "Why don't you have it with me, I promise it will be nice."

"No I'm having it with Sasuke!" she suddenly shouted.

"Sasuke, how do you know him?"

"Why should I tell you?!"

"Because if you don't then I'll kiss you!"

"Eww, fine then, Sasuke was my first and only love!"

"Cuddles?"

"Who's Cuddles, I don't know her, I'm Susie not Cuddles!" she panicked.

"I know its you, but how did you become human?"

"One of Fluffykins machines."

"You know, you look good as a human and you look cute when your angry."

"Wha-shut up you!"

"I think I will kiss you.."

"No sto-!"

But it was too late, they were kissing.

**TBC!**

**Me: I wonder what my punishment is!**

**Elfluffo: Your punishment is....**

**Me: Yes?**

**Elfluffo: Your punishment is....**

**Me: Yes?**

**Elfluffo: Find out next chapter!**

**Me: WHAT?!**

**Elfluffo: Just kidding!**

**Me: Phew, well what is it?**

**Elfluffo: you must have a tea party with Susie!**

**Me: NOOOOOO!**

**Elfluffo: Mwhahaha R&R!**


	9. Nighty night!

**Me: I'm really, really, really sorry! my internet hasn't been working so I couldn't get the chapters up! but now its fixed and here's the new chapter!**

**Elfluffo: Finally!**

**Me: Hey! You didn't do anything at all, you just sat on the couch all day!**

**Elfluffo: Well at least I tried doing something!**

**Me: Like what?!**

**Elfluffo: I watched the TV and ate and slept!**

**Me: (sigh) you are so useless!**

**Elfluffo: Whatever, so anyway Rachzilla does not own Naruto!**

Chapter 9

**At the park....**

"Wow your a better kisser than Sakura!" Kakashi grinned.

_poof _the girl in his arm turned to smoke.

"What the?" he mumbled, confused.

A small note softly fell to the ground in front of him, he picked it up and began to read.

_Dear Kakashi,_

_I'm sorry but I do not have feelings for you! I was just trying to make you like me because of Elfluffos (Fluffykins) orders! I'm sorry about you and Sakura but if you still love her then you must hunt down Elfluffo, he is applying for a job at Tsunades office. If you do kill him, tell him that I'm sorry._

_From Susie._

"This was all a plan to get me and Sakura to spilt up?!" he growled while ripping the note in half.

"What have I done?" Susie- who was behind a tree at the time-cried.

**At the Hyuuga household....**

"W..where am I?" Chip asked.

"Oh, your alive!" Hinata sobbed.

"What happened and why does my face feel like its going to explode with pain?" he gasped.

"Neji attacked you, usually people don't survive an attack like that!"

"Wow...how long have I been out?"

"Five minutes."

"It truly is amazing." Neji suddenly said.

"Argh don't let him kill me mummy!"

"Tell me, do you have some kind of special power?"

"Well now that you mention it..."

"Well I guess you guys have finally gotten along." Hinata mumbled.

"Thats it! I must have some kind regeneration power!"

"What? But that's impossible, unless you have a demon inside you!"

"Well I do have the demon of chocolaty goodness inside me..." Chip grinned.

"You seem to be very powerful, I give you permission to go out with my cousin!"

"WHAT?!?" Hinata shouted.

"That's great news, wait WHAT?!" Chip shouted.

"And I like your long hair, its soo shiny, I give you permission to marry my cousin and what conditioner do you use?"

"WHAT?!" Hinata shouted again.

"What are you talking about, I don't even have hair, wait WHAT?!"

"You two are getting married next Tuesday!"

"But I'm meant to marry Naruto!"

"The same Naruto that left you, the same Naruto that never said goodbye, the same Naruto that married Sasuke instead of you?"

"I hate you Neji!" Hinata cried and ran off.

"Hinata wait!" Chip called after her.

"Chip, you've been so nice to me, I don't know how to repay you!" Hinata cried into his shoulder.

"Its okay Hinata, I'm only nice because you were nice to me."

"Chip you're the best." she sobbed.

"I know."

**Meanwhile with Elfluffo....**

"So, you think your worthy enough to protect me, the hokage, the greatest ninja in the leaf village, from danger?" Tsunade chuckled.

"Ummm yes?" Elfluffo said nervously.

"Why?"

"Because your not the best ninja in the leaf village, I am!"

"You've got guts kid, I like a man with guts!"

'_Wow this lady is scary and old, she also smells like mints, too many mints' _Elfluffo thought.

"But everyone has guts, does that mean you like everyone?" Elfluffo replied.

"Hahaha, your hired!"

"Wow thanks!"

"Your hired if you pass this test!"

"What's the test?"

"You must beat me...."

"Yes?"

"In a drinking contest!"

"What?"

"You heard me, now drink this!" she laughed, pulling out two glasses and filling them with sake.

"But I've never drunk anything like this!"

"What are you a kid?"

"No I'm a man! A very manly, man!" he laughed as he picked up his glass.

"Cheers!" she laughed as she banged her glass on his.

**Three hours later....**

"Wow, hic! your a tough opponent, hic!" Tsunade laughed.

"And hic! this is my, hic! first time, hic!" Elfluffo grinned.

"Well we're hic! on our thirty-seventh glass, hic! feel like, hic! giving up?"

"No, hic! I'll go on, hic! all night, hic! if I have to!"

"Well cheers, hic! to our thirty-ninth, hic! gla-." she fell back and began to snore.

"Woo, hic! I'm the, hic! winner, hic! nighty night!" he too fell back in his chair and fell asleep.

**TBC!**

**Me: Wow what a great chapter! And again I'm really sorry for how late it is!**

**Elfluffo: Me, hic! too!**

**Me: Well I guess all that's left to say is Nighty night!**

**Elfluffo: Yeah nighty, hic! night and R&R hic! **


End file.
